A Path to Home: Redefining Residential Solutions for Our Daughter

Written by Susan Whittaker in 2007.  Originally shared in PLAN Facts.

Many years ago, my husband Ron and I attended a workshop titled “Home Ownership Means Equity,” which left an indelible mark on us. The event showcased family members discussing creative living solutions they had developed for their children with disabilities. Each story was unique, but one model resonated deeply with us and has since inspired our journey.

Our other two daughters experienced a typical range of living situations through their university years—from dorms to shared apartments. They had the freedom to choose where and with whom they lived, making changes as they saw fit. Unfortunately, our daughter Stephanie hasn’t had the same opportunities. For over twenty-five years, she has lived in group homes, moving multiple times without a say in the matter, experiencing the constant turnover of roommates and staff. It’s a cycle that we’ve seen too often, where temporary staff changes disrupt the lives of residents significantly.

It was Stephanie’s PLAN Network that helped
us refine our vision to best meet her needs.

Reflecting on the idea shared by Arthur Mudry during that transformative weekend about creating a personalized living arrangement for his daughter Lynne, we’ve been motivated to pursue a similar path for Stephanie. Initially placed in BC’s largest institution, Woodlands, as a young child, we worked hard to transition her into community living. Although group homes were a significant improvement from institutional life, they haven’t fully met her individual needs.

As community living evolves, we are once again ready to redefine Stephanie’s living situation to better align with her needs and our hopes for her quality of life. We are exploring the possibility of life sharing, where someone could not only share the space with Stephanie but also create a home together, ensuring both privacy and companionship.

Recently, we attended a presentation by Community Living BC that offered a promising residential model. We are considering this option seriously and discussing it within her support network to incorporate their insights and suggestions.

Stephanie’s house now includes a basement suite, which could help manage costs through rental income. This aspect is crucial, as funding is always a significant concern when planning for the needs of children with disabilities.

Our journey is driven by the desire to provide Stephanie with a home that reflects her personality—a place where she feels truly at home. We have purchased a house in a safe neighborhood, close to amenities and her family. It features a fenced backyard, perfect for the dog she has always wanted. As we walk through the neighborhood, we are reminded of the community we want Stephanie to feel a part of.

The decision on whether or not to have a roommate, and who that might be, remains complex. However, Stephanie’s network, which includes those who know her best, will play a crucial role in this decision to ensure that her future home is not just a place to live, but a space where she can thrive.

Through it all, the memory of the H.O.M.E workshop propels us forward, transforming inspiration into action, and continuously guiding us towards the ideal living arrangement for Stephanie, one that meets her unique needs and enriches her life.