For one unforgettable summer in the 1970s, my home was not made of walls and a roof, but of the wide, sweeping branches of an old tamarisk tree on a sandy Greek beach. Its branches spread wide, forming a natural doorway that welcomed anyone who visited. When friends came to call, my presence was signaled by sandals carefully placed to one side.
Inside my arboreal abode, a special crook in one branch cradled my cup and toothbrush, while numerous twigs served as hangers for my scarves. This tree moderated the heat of the sun by day and allowed the stars to peek through at night, creating a celestial tapestry overhead.
In this kind, sheltering tree, I felt an unparalleled sense of safety. It was a space that had been lived in – by me, by others before me, and by the various wildlife that shared it. This tree was truly the place that felt most like home during that sun-kissed summer.
However, not everyone saw it that way. One of our family’s treasured stories involves my mother’s reaction to a letter I sent her, detailing my starry-eyed life in Greece. Upon reading it, she burst into tears, exclaiming, “She’s living in a tree. A tree!” For her, my breezy, unconventional home was anything but.
That summer taught me that ‘home’ is a deeply personal feeling. It’s not so much a place as it is a space – a space that breathes life into us, that welcomes us as we are, and where we, in turn, leave our mark. Creating such a ‘home space’ for someone who is vulnerable or isolated is a complex endeavor.
As families, we often face the paradoxical challenge of finding spaces that both open doors and secure locks. That’s why cultivating caring connections beyond our immediate circle is crucial. Together, we can expand our comfort zones and envision the living, breathing spaces our loved ones can grow into and out of. Just as no tree lives forever, no home, no matter how well planned or built, is permanent. True sustainability lies in the support of those who will care for our loved ones beyond our own lifetimes. It is this embrace that will nourish and honor our loved one’s spirit, wherever they may find themselves living.
Written by Vickie Cammack
Originally published in PLAN Facts Winter 2007