At PLAN, we continue to deepen our understanding of our work in Facilitation. Our highest value is that people live good, stable, abundant lives and are surrounded by loving friends and family who are willing to take on various roles to support them in having that good life.
It’s a joy to spend time with people and learn about their deep dreams and the aspirations their families hold for them. We dream with you, too! We might advocate with you or support you in planning an event that will bring together people you know or people you want to know better. This is deep work done from the heart, and we are grateful for the opportunity to do it!
Often, we are trying to figure out our work—what is ours to do and what is not? How do we, as facilitators, ease any given situation? How do we decide? These are all questions that we grapple with a lot. How do we resist our compulsion as caring people to do it all ourselves? How do we get over our own conditioning about asking others for their presence and support? There are many questions!
One thing we are learning, though, is that no action is too small to make a significant difference in a person’s life. In fact, whatever we are doing (or not doing) can make room for connection and contribution. We might create a chain reaction of goodwill or growth in ways we don’t even know!
Over the holidays, a friend of mine’s mom passed away. Knowing how chaotic Christmas can be and how that loss would affect the family’s ability to get through it (with their school-age kids), I cooked a meal. I took it over to them – leaving it on their front stoop. I texted my friend to tell her to go to the front door to find their dinner and a few special treats.
By deciding to do it without request, I took the responsibility myself instead of placing it squarely in her already full-to-capacity hands.
Instead of saying, “If you need anything, please let me know “… I just acted
… it was a small thing and yet had a huge impact.
Just doing it without being asked or told was a decision that, in this case, was exactly the right thing to do. In all honesty, though- I struggled with deciding. Was it too pushy or interfering? Was it helpful, or did it send a message that they needed help and couldn’t do it themselves?
When my friend called to thank me, I asked her, and she told me she didn’t even know how much she needed that outreach and that she would never have asked for it if I had offered to do anything she wanted. She did say to me, though, that it would have been okay to tell her beforehand to check if that would be helpful, and I noted that for the future.
Please share your experiences and insights with us.
We would love to hear about the times when you’ve made a difference in someone’s life, or when someone’s support has made a difference in yours.
Your stories can help us all think more deeply about this important subject!
Email Shelley at hello@plan.ca