When a birthday party is more than a birthday party

Sandra invited me to her birthday party in July and it was an honour to attend. As I relaxed into socializing with Sandra and her steadfast network of friends and family I found myself taking in little joyful details. With the food, games and location all comfortably squared away by dedicated friends like Deb and Roz along with PLAN Mentor Kat, I experienced the pure simple joys that come with being together and feeling held in a safe and comfortable atmosphere. 

I had a good conversation with Marilyn, Sandra’s Mom, looking happy and cared-for after a recent series of health events. She sparkled in the moment, seated at the head of the table next to Sandra. I realized that I was sharing something with Marilyn in that moment – trust and relaxation. She did not have to plan this event, she showed up and celebrated with her daughter, son, daughter-in-law and dear friends. After years of growing together through many life transitions and building trust with their network, Marilyn could heartily enjoy Sandra’s birthday party. 

Sandra was having a good time, I could hear her speak up when she wanted to do something and when she felt she needed a break. Everyone around her understood how to listen and be present with another.

Listening on every level, Kat seamlessly introduced playing some games which were entertaining and perfect for the group. We learned facts, had some laughs, played BINGO and even sang along with the Happy Hour happening in the room next door! There was an infectious happy energy flowing around the room and beyond.

It struck me how many elements and how many thoughtful choices must come into play for a joyful event like this. When the listening over the years translates into action in the moment, a beautiful flow can happen. A mix of gratitude, trust, hope and a whole lot of investment in listening to details of the heart can elevate a moment of celebration into a memory to be treasured for years to come.  

Sandra said thank you to Kat for her hard work and Kat misheard this as ‘heart’ work. Jule Hopkins, who was also at the party, has long shared this idea with us that what we do is ‘heart’ work and it was amazing to hear Kat reflect this! 

Perhaps ‘heart work’ is what lifts ‘hard work’ and makes a birthday party just a little bit more than a birthday party, it makes it a cherished memory.

Written by: Sophie Yendole